sellin' the dream

For years now, I've had dreams of moving out to the country, buying a bit of land, and building our own home. There's a little land hawking company in the Ozarks that buys up land, divides it, and sells it. I've been getting their surprisingly entertaining newsletter for a few years and it's always a fun read.

An excerpt from this morning's:

Y'see, this 3.4 acres is... well, yes, naturally beautiful, peaceful and private, yada yada yada, but what makes you think that you want any of those things? New York City is populated by typical Americans. In fact, it's populated by 8 MILLION of them, so you'd have to assume that NYC is someplace the typical American genuinely wants to be. Is it naturally beautiful? Private? Peaceful? Obviously, it is none of these things. Obviously then, these are not qualities that typical Americans care for. Ergo, if you are a typical American who wishes, for example, to buy a newspaper, then we may assume that you'd much rather wade through six blocks of immobile traffic, sulpher dioxide, junkies and crumbling infrastructure than to drive for 10 minutes along an all-but-abandoned two-lane blacktop through a pastoral countryside on your way to a small village.

Since virtually everyone tends to argue with me, I'll assume that you're doing so as well. Perhaps you're thinking, "Gee whiz, Neil, we're not typical Americans at all, we want to move out into the REAL world and build this house from these plans we found online. Instead of using a lot of expensive stuff like wood and concrete, it's made completely out of day-old bread loaves and fabric remnants, so it's good for the environment. We want to move out into the Ozarks forest and teach all the hillbillies how to make their own candles and do Tai Chi."

Uh-oh, he's got my number! lol :)